Well, it’s time to start reading. You have no much idea how much I dread doing this. Ugh…the bad memories are rushing back already. Well, since I have over 6 years worth of comic to run through, I’m gonna have to summarize most of the comic to get enough room to talk about the really bad points. So bear with me on this.
Well folks. Here it is. The first Wotch comic ever made. And it looks like crap. Well, what did you expect? This comic is over 6 years old, so of course its first comic looks terrible by comparison to its modern day mutant offspring. The bland backgrounds, barely consistent proportions, and a near over reliance on Photoshop are definitely horrible by our standards today. But I suppose back in 2002 they didn’t have any real way to complain about this, so I’ll let it go for now.
Chapter One is the introductory chapter. Everybody knows about this kind of chapter. This lets us know enough about the characters and the setting so that we know what to expect. The story is Robin and Jason find out that Anne is a “Wotch”, which is like a witch but with a stupid name instead. That’s it. On the technical side, the writers did a good job with the flow of the story, and the characters seem to have some resemblance of a personality, so I suppose this is a nice introduction. But then we come to two roadblocks that stall some of the enjoyment. For example, what the hell is this? What am I supposed to think about seeing a little 4-year-old girl suddenly change into a college student? Seriously, there was little warning. And who the hell is this dumbass? What is Sauron’s twice-removed nephew doing stalking a teenage girl through his witch’s brew cauldron? Do I want to know? Should I even care? The answer to that last question is a resounding “NO”. This is a consistent problem throughout the comic. You try and enjoy the comic for its own sake, and then the writers throw in random crap like this and stall the story to tell us tripe we don’t care for or even need. So, nice intro slightly stalled by unnecessary foreshadowing.
Chapter Two is the comic’s first attempt at using action. And if this kind of action is what we get to see, then these guys should stick to comedy, because dynamic action is not their forte. The story this time is that Anne brings a bunch of rip-off comic book characters to life with her magic, and so the three main characters must turn into rip-offs of other comic book characters to combat them. OK, I’ll give them props for remembering that Transformers had a comic. And that’s about it. Frankly, the action in this comic seems stilted. This could be because of the lack of backgrounds or the lack of fluid movement or stiff character designs or substitution of sound effects for really weird descriptions or… OK, that is pretty much the problems their action scenes have. I suppose this chapter isn’t that terrible but…did they have to include this dumbass at the end of this chapter? It’s like he’s auditioning for the role of Dr. Claw on a radio show or something. Seriously, what is the point of his continued appearances?
Chapter Three involves Anne turning into a furry. I wish I was making it up, but it is true. It only gets more awkward from here folks… No, not that soon! Essentially, this is a comedic chapter, which focuses on the “zany” antics of Anne and here friends. In fact, it would be a great chapter if not for the filler. Oh Gods, the constant filler. This comic has a big problem with filler, and it only gets worse from here. Oh, and ass-for-brains shows his shiny metal ass again. Only he’s now MELLECK XAOS, DESTROYER OF MINOR CITY PORTS or something like that. Ooooh, I’m shaking in my freaking nightie, you devilish villain. What’s next on your evil tyrannical agenda? You gonna cut down some trees to piss off the elves and the little woodland creatures? Or how about pelting orphans with the carcasses of dead puppies? Oh wait, I know! Maybe you’ll go back to watching that teenage girl walking around in her bra and panties through the mirror you stole from Snow White’s mother! At least till Chris Hansen shows up in your kitchen with a camera crew ready, ya freaking ephebophile.
So, that’s the first three chapters summarized. Now, you might notice these were…rather short for an analysis. Well, there isn’t really much in the comics themselves, and out of all the chapters created on The Wotch, I honestly believe these are the best. Or at least the most bearable. No, I’m serious. These three chapters were the best, despite looking like an 8 year old drew them. Why? Well, when I look at these chapters, I see potential. I mean, don’t get me wrong. They suck on ice. But…I can tell effort was put into it. The writing is standard faire, but it didn’t try to be “edgy” or “adult”, which is a good thing for a webcomic. They have a basic grasp of comedic timing, and despite the heavy use of TG and TF, it was actually relevant to the plot instead of just put in there to appeal to the fanboys. If it kept doing simple stories, maybe I would have actually liked it.
But it didn’t. It went down another path. A dark, sinister path. One where good writing and good artwork are not necessary to find success. One where they force their creepy fetish upon the readers, whether they like it or not. One where people are nothing more than mere playthings, moving to the will of a tyrannical monster that believes she is a goddess. A dark winding path removed from any shred of moral decency or good story-telling quality any have known. It seems, Little Red, you chose to leave the dirt path for the black woods. You thought that in the woods, you might find the Fae, who you hoped would unquestioningly accept you for “who you really are” and make you their queen and praise you endlessly. Am I correct in assuming this? Well, the Wolf is watching you. He noticed when you left that man to his fate at the hands of that witch, who cursed his body and crushed his mind. Oh, and those foolhardy men in the numbered shirts? Didn’t the witch do something more sinister to them? And all you told them was that “This was all fun and friendly! I’m not in the wrong here!” Well, the Wolf disapproves greatly. He despises fools and hypocrites. He thinks you have done something unforgivable. He will never let you forget those whom you have stepped on, Little Red. He is coming for you, Little Red. Yes…Chapter Four should be quite “fun”, eh?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment