Okay, before I start summarizing season 2, I’m going to have to address a major issue with this comic. The Wotch has a big problem with pacing. It used to be that they would make on average 3-4 comics a week. But at the end of the first season, they though it was a suitable time to work on “real world issues”. Pffft…wimps. What does this mean for us readers? I tell you what. I’ll summarize it…in song!
Cause this is FILLER! Filler Night!
Ain’t no one gonna save you from the boredom ‘bout to strike!
You know it’s FILLER! Filler Night!
You struggle to survive inside this killer! Filler! TONIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!
Finally, after over 5 MONTHS OF NOTHING BUT FREAKING FILLER, we are officially into the second season. Let’s get started before they make up more reasons to delay. The 10th chapter starts us off with a recap showing what happened in between those 5 MONTHS OF NOTHING BUT FREAKING FILLER. And what happened, you may ask? Nothing of any great importance whatsoever. Yeah…moving on!
We cut to Angelique, the genie from Chapter 5, who has been attempting to find her place in the mortal world, but is not doing well. Then she is visited by her sister Kali, who is totally unrelated to the Hindu goddess of the same name. Jason gets captured, and we find out Robin’s younger brother is a Naruto fanboy. At least he isn’t as annoying as some of the actual fans twice his age. So, Angelique, Robin, and Anne decide to save Jason. Then we are introduced to the antagonist, who happens to be a midget genie mob boss. Never thought I’d ever have to type that sentence. Our heroes travel to…um…Agrabah, get captured by the guards, escape, and infiltrates Shadow Moses. While escaping, our heroes come across a mysterious ancient painting, which depicts some ancient battle between an evil genie overlord and two champions of magic and blah blah blah I don’t give a rat’s cootie. Oh, and there’s a subplot involving opposing viewpoints between Angelique and Kali about how it’s wrong to abuse mortal people because you have the power to do so. Yeah, this comic just became really wordy all of a sudden, and I’m falling asleep on my keyboard trying to read this whole thing. This is an example of a common problem when a comic tries to become more dramatic, known as Cerebus Syndrome. And believe me, it is rarely fun to endure. Let’s speed this up. Anti-racism message, gratuitous Darth Vader appearance, DBZ action, dramatic farewells, unnecessary foreshadowing, and thank Robin Williams this is over because this all the comic I can stand. MOVING ON!
Oh for the love of Artemis, not this arc! Anything but this boring useless fanservice ridden waste of pixels! Oh sod it. There’s nothing important about this part in the slightest. It’s just one giant rehashing of the Batman The Animated Series episode Terror in the Sky, but with furry tits and no Batman or fun whatsoever. And stop with the fanservice already! This comic sucks hard enough without me remembering that a bunch of lonely basement nerds are getting boners reading this crap! Give me something more interesting!
… Dammit, this comic is just taunting me now. So for Chapter 12, we cut to…um…who the hell are these fruit loops again? Oh, who cares? They’re just some generic resistance group going up against a generic evil overlord in a generic fantasy world. In fact this resistance group is so generic their actual name is “The Soldiers of Resistance.” And it almost seems like I’m joking, doesn’t it? But I’m really not! Fun times ahead! OK, there really isn’t much to this arc so I’ll focus on the interesting parts.
A penguin pirate. Which would be far more kickass if this wasn’t The Wotch. Giant Sand worms, straight out of Dune. A Luke Skywalker ripoff, making Star Wars analogies far easier to make. The origins of the Darth Vader clone. An assassin that changes from a guy into a girl during the night of a full moon. And feels insulted when called a “Were”, which makes no sense since “Were” is just the Latin word for “man”. While I’m on the subject, what is this Yugioh guy classified as? I mean, the whole Man-Wolf thing doesn’t apply, so what would we call a male human that can change into a female human? Would he/she be a “Were-Wif”, aka Man-Woman? Oh, forget it. They don’t care, so why should I? Obi-wan Kenobi mixed with Gandalf the Grey. And a really dirty-looking ending panel. Done. Moving on!
Hey kiddies! Guess what? It’s Crossover Time! This chapter is a collaboration between The Wotch and a webcomic known as Accidental Centaurs. The plot of Accidental Centaurs is two scientists get sucked into a magical dimension, get turned into centaurs, and go on adventures with a genie called Lenny. Simple enough. Now the first thing you will notice is that the artists Anne Onymous(The Wotch) and John Lotshaw (Accidental Centaurs) have two very different styles. How do they compare? First, let’s look at the artwork. In my opinion John Lotshaw is the better of the two artists. Mainly because his artwork is far more detailed, the characters are far more expressive, and his art style seems to be a mix between comic book art and superflat artwork, giving it a unique look. Anne Onymous uses photoshop. Yeah… In terms of writing, I would say Accidental Centaurs wins by a slight margin. The Wotch has a few unique ideas that are soon buried under mountains of stupidity, inanity and fanservice. Accidental Centaur, on the other hand, is generic as all hell, but it is far more tolerable. As for fanservice…The Wotch wins. Hands down. So overall, Accidental Centaurs is a great webcomic, and is an enjoyable reading experience. Wait, I was supposed to be reviewing The Wotch, wasn’t I? Fine, let’s get on with it. What’s the plot of this crossover, you may ask? Well, the Wicked Witch of the West captures Anne and Lenny for her evil experiments and… OK, I don’t need to finish that sentence without figuring the outcome of this story. Essentially, all that matters is that Anne and co. learn about Darth Vader, and Samantha gets the ability to cast magic. Oh, and did you see the part where Anne Onymous and Samantha merge into some hideous amalgamation? That is actually a sexual fetish. And if that revelation didn’t disturb you, maybe the implication that this image is filler for a PG-13 comic will. PG-13 my ass… next chapter!
Chapter 14 is when this comic attempts to insert some “drama” into the comic with a double date storyline. It also tries to reincorporate “wacky humor” back into the story. We start this little farce with Cassie trying to use magic to hook up with Robin, and Jason going on a in a desperate bid to see a movie…as a girl! Because nothing is funnier than awkward clothes shopping and sexist humor and interspecies romance! Oh, and there’s something about prophecies and slumber parties. Then…it devolves into a mess with four plot points running at the exact same time. I think this comic has developed schizophrenia. It can’t decide if it wants to be a comedy, a drama, or an action adventure. Yes it is possible to mix elements of multiple genres together to make your story more interesting. But this comic more or less chooses ideas that seem cool and throwing them willy-nilly until something sticks. So, how does it end, you may ask? Well, Jason frenches a guy, Robin bafflingly screws up his date, Cassie gets suicidal depressed, and then…this happens. Yeah, what a stellar ending. An appearance of what appears to be the bastard love child of Kefka and Sephiroth wearing a bathrobe. Yawn. Oh well, at least there was no Darth Vader appearance this time. Overall, it was boring. This was mainly due to this comic’s inability to focus on getting one element down pat, making all the parts feel really half hearted. The only moment that was actually amusing was the mall plant getting affected by a love potion. I don’t know why. Maybe because the image of a plant trying to write a love ballad to a Goth chick is silly and far removed from the regular TG crap I have to plod through. But then this [53a] japanophile induced junk reminded me which comic I was reading. So thanks, Wotch. Thanks for ruining the one moment of happiness I have felt in a long time while I was reading this comic. You bloody nerds...
Whelp folks, this is it. The big one. The moment I’ve been dreading this entire time. The second worst arc in this entire comic. If the fourth chapter didn’t offend you, [56a] Chapter 15, Consequences, most certainly will. From here on out, you will be subjected to horrors of the mind unlike any other. You will think this is when this comic cannot get any worse. But it will. And I’m going review it for you. Have a vomit bag at the ready.
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