The One Who Watches The Wotch: Part two: Newcomers Beware

The best place to start in our analysis of The Wotch is the main website. It might seem a bit unscholarly to focus on a seemingly minor flaw, but keep in mind that first impressions are very important in fictional works. As far as websites go, the current incarnation of The Wotch is functional, but those few who dare to look closely enough will know better than to keep reading.

For your consideration, imagine you are a newcomer to The Wotch. You might have heard good or bad things about the comic from other people or you could have clicked on the link out of mild curiosity. The front page is actually nicely constructed. The comic itself is front and center, which allows viewers to see the comic without the hassle of menus or text links. Above the comic are links, which allow readers to move through the archive. They are ordered from left to right as follows; beginning of webcomic, beginning of current arc, previous sequential page, next sequential page, current page, and next arc.This makes archive reading far easier to traverse for people like me who have to refer to certain parts continuously, and need a faster method of retrieval. It would have been better if they switched the next arc links with the current page links, because it keeps tripping me up.

In the bottom-right the comic is a calendar for people who wish to look through the archives by month for specific dates. It contains a drop down folder that transports you to the beginning page of each specific arc. The calendar also contains click able links that lead to specific dates if you need to look at a particular day for some reason or just want to skip the filler. They are color coded as follows; gray-colored has nothing, black-colored has a page from the comic, brown-colored means filler, and blue-colored usually means an important announcement. The only problem is that sometimes filler is colored black, so I have to try and guess sometimes. Underneath the comic contains text links that let you move sequentially through the archives. But it also contains the option to skip past the filler if the page you are on currently has any. This is a lifesaver for anyone reading through the archives. Links to the other parts of the website are on the right side, and are thankfully brief in description. There is also an option in the upper right corner, which allows readers to change the page structure if they prefer to do so.

As nice as the presentation of the website is, the content is more worrisome. As a newcomer, you probably want to see the FAQ. Well, it links to an FAQ section in their wiki. And the first thing you might notice will be this.

It might be kind of a nitpick, and this might be more of an oversight on the part of the maintenance, but I noted this small instance to help set the tone for this analysis. In the Beginner FAQ, it contains a nice summary of the comic for the newbies. Then you see these two gems, which have been copied verbatim from their website for your convenience.

4. What's with all the transformation (TF) and transgender (TG) stuff in this webcomic?
We like it and think it's fun and interesting. Next question.
5. Isn't that stuff sexual in nature?
No. Inherently TF and TG stuff have nothing to do with sex; in fact, here at the Wotch, we enforce the rule that everything here is PG-13 or less. This is intended to be a friendly, fun comic suitable for everybody.

O.K., I can see some red flags already. First of all, transformation is indeed not sexual in nature. “Transgender stuff”, however, is at its core sexual in nature. Transgender issues deal with matters such as sexual identity, which are classified as sexual issues. In fairness, this may just be a matter of equivocation in the use of the word “sexual”. But notice the use of the word “inherent” in their argument. It’s a nice weasel word, isn’t it? It denies that TG stuff is sexual in nature, but doesn’t say anything about the comic’s presentation of sexuality. Remember that just because something may not be inherently sexual in nature doesn’t mean it can’t be presented as sexual. Like how animals that have human characteristics yet retain enough animalistic physical traits to not be considered human are not sexual in nature but that doesn’t mean that furry porn on the Internet does not exist. What the heck is my point, you wonder? I’ll give you a chart to help explain.

1. The authors want to address the potential issue that their comic can be seen as containing sexual content, on the basis that general knowledge seems to indicate TF/TG comics are all viewed as having sexual content present.

2. They acknowledge their comic has TF/TG elements in it.

3. They claim that because TF and TG are not sexual in nature, any depictions of TF and TG are also not sexual in nature. Thus their comic has no sexual content in terms of TF and TG content.

4. They note that the comic is “PG-13” and “friendly, fun, and suitable for everyone” to show that their comic is not intended to have sexual content.

5. Critic notes that their claim that TF and TG are not sexual in nature, while true, does not address the portrayal of sexual content in the comic itself.

6. Critic notes that just because an idea is not inherently sexual in nature, does not prevent sexual content from being produced. So, it is possible for certain depictions of TF and TG to be sexual in nature. Therefore, the claim that any depictions of TG and TG cannot be sexual in nature do not exist is wrong.

7. Critic then claim that since they cannot prove beyond a reasonable doubt that TF and TG comics have no link to sexual content whatsoever, and that this argument adds nothing to the claim that their comic cannot have seen as sexual, it is thus discarded.

8. Critic notes that labels are warning signs of what to expect in a comic, and not guarantees that the comic will not contain elements not specified in label.

9. Critic notes that while their comic might not intentionally create sexual content, sexual content can still exist in the form of inference or even be unintentionally created by the authors. So, since their claim that “PG-13” is a guarantee that their comic contains no sexual content is impossible, it is discarded.

10. Thus, their arguments for the comic having no sexual content whatsoever has no foundation. Thus, it is possible for this comic to contain sexual content. So, if definitive evidence can show the comic does indeed use sexual content, the comic can be considered sexual to viewers.

Isn’t logic fun? Now that we have the beginning questions out of the way, lets see what else is available on the site for newcomers. Alongside the FAQ are the story summaries, which help briefly summarize the various arcs for newcomers and people who want a quick reminder. And I do mean “brief”. Most only tell you major events that took place, and some of the later arcs aren’t even completed. Still, it’s considerate of the creators to include that. They also have a section for bonus art, which hold no value for newcomers other than potentially creeping them out with transformation and transgender fanart. And the credits page is down for the moment. Great…

Then there is this little nugget called “Preview movie”. This is actually a fan movie created by a person named Ian Samson, who seems to not only produce a lot of transformation/transgender stuff of his own, but also does extensive work helping The Wotch as well. Well, the movie is all right by the standards of animation. The animation itself is fluid and works well in portraying the simplistic nature of the The Wotch. There is also no sound except for the soundtrack, which means I don’t have to listen to squeaky teens stumbling over their lines. Personally, I think the animation makes the characters look too childlike, and the music is fairly unremarkable in its own right. But, I thought it was a good representation of the comic. Then I noticed this in the credits.

He took two of the songs from X-Change 2. The sequel to a hentai game that is part of a series called X-Change. X-Change; the hentai game series that revolves around the male main character getting turned into a female, who then gets subsequently raped by males and females alike. In every single installment. I have one question for you Mr. Ian Samson…Why? What do these songs have to do with The Wotch? Were you pressed for time or limited by copyright issues? Did someone send you the soundtrack for giggles? You can’t have thought these were…good songs, right? Did you actually play these games and thought the songs thematically matched The Wotch somehow? What does a game about the exploitation of a male turned into a female have to do with The Wotch in any fashion whatsoever? Unless…No. It can’t be. There is no way any of the themes in this hentai game can be shared with this “PG-13” comic, such as males turning into females or heavy sexual exploitation of females or slow plodding plotlines with an option to skip most of the boring dialogue or inordinate amounts of fanservice or…

Okay, I believe I might need to move on before my hand starts trying to strangle me again to prevent me from typing anymore. Down from the top box is the donation area, or as I like to call it “Da Monay Box”. The interesting thing to note about the Wotch is that it is actually a huge money making business. I know! I was shocked too! But…look at the sheer size of it! It has more links than all the other places combined! But that is entirely logical! I mean, who wouldn’t donate their weekly paycheck for such lovely animations such as these? Or how about pinups? Ah yeah girl, Playboy ain’t got shit on these ladies, baby! Advertisement space! Watch those Google hits soar! Official Wotch store! Spend money on stuff you won’t ever be able to give away! But who would want to give away that book collection you could read online for free? Figurines! I’d buy that for a dollar! …Oh dear lord that thing is ugly! It looks like a shoggoth trying to pretend it’s a cartoon character and failing miserably! Whoever designed that thing must be a freaking cambion to think this looks pleasing to the human eye! A dollar? I wouldn’t pay a hay-penny for it! Dear lord, this looks almost as half-assed as “Sader” was.

OK, now that I got that out of my system, there’s not much else to say. It has links to the forums and fan comics, but that’s really all a newcomer needs to care about. So, what do all these signs tell us newcomers? Well…

1. Nobody cared enough about the website to fix a mistake in the freaking FAQ
2. Their comic has an unusual focus on transformation and transgender “stuff”
3. Their comic may be of a sexual nature, despite their attempts to say otherwise
4. They are a huge cashcow, which could mean copious amounts of fanservice, which considering it is focused on “TG and TF” means really awkward situations…

So with such warning signs, who would be foolish enough to actually read this comic? Apparently, I am because we’re going to dive right into this murky pool of webcomic goop, all the way from the beginning. If I don’t make it back, don’t bother looking for me. It will be less messy that way.

The One Who Watches The Wotch: Part one: Introduction

Works of fiction can be said to embody certain ideas from the writers or artists. Maybe that’s a bit obvious, but I doubt that many artists would openly admit to any messages or themes in their fictional works. Mainly because sometimes these messages get a little too personal and start telling things they probably want to keep to themselves (Ex. Stephenie Meyer’s portrayal of a healthy romantic relationship). This holds especially true for the Internet. Fanfiction in particular, especially if the writers make a new character that is the “perfect” boy/girlfriend for the one character that they like in real life who just “happens” to have their real name or act in a fashion the writer wishes they could themselves act.
Knowing this, trying to analyze a webcomic like The Wotch makes it hard to remain objective. Going solely by what I see in the comic and its supplementary works, I cannot help but ponder at what diseased mind can hold ideals such as these and claim to be “normal”.

The Wotch. “What does this comic embody,” you may wonder? From what I have seen, this comic embodies the twisted ideals of people who turned transgender issues into a sexual fetish as a form of escapism, but are too afraid to admit it to anyone, including themselves (Supposedly, girls also read this comic. Or so they claim.) For three years, this thing has haunted my subconscious. Every time I see a link to this abomination, my mind shudders as it remembers the time I wasted reading this waste of pixels and bytes. Every time I see the front page, I am reminded of my shameful curiosity that convince me reading the entire archive was worth it. Every time I see the comics themselves, I mock them to hell and back to hide my regrets behind the pointed barbs of criticism. Once I stop laughing, I fear that I would start crying bitter tears of rage over my youthful folly.

Since I read this comic, I have had nightmares of suddenly being transformed into something that I am not. Nightmares of my mind becoming slowly and uncontrollably altered to a point where any trace of my existence have been irreversibly erased. And then some alien being is allowed to parade with my name and integrates itself so heavily into my former life that it was like I was never born at all. And why should I have been? Everybody’s much happier now anyways. Can you comprehend that fear? The worst thing about it is…this is somone’s idea of a sexual fetish. Don’t believe me? Look no further than The Wotch. That’s all this comic essentially is. An excuse to look at teenagers turn into girls or mythological creatures or statues or trees or ”I don’t know what the hell that’s supposed to be”; It’s all just a big guilt-free wankfest!

On the surface, the Wotch is an average comic. The art is bland, the plots are boring and cliché, and people keep changing into other things, but the first two seasons doesn’t seem that bad. But then you stop and realize you kinda skimmed over most of it. So you read it again, this time looking carefully for anything you didn’t notice like plot points and character development. Then you notice that a girl turned into a werecat with stonking great tits and ripped most of her shirt off and is now fighting a werewolf and a catgirl. So, you read it over from the start, because you are confused by when this PG-13 comic became so sexualized. Then you realize that some of these parts might have already been sexualized and you just didn’t notice it. Like that nerd turning into a ripoff of Jean Grey from X-Men. Or Anne Onymous turning four football players into a group of bimbo cheerleaders. Or when that Asian girl turned into a…Pikachu? Seriously? But it’s a PG-13 comic, right? This weird stuff isn’t important to the plot. I can just read it for the “plot”, and it won’t be a problem, right? Then you skim over most of it again because the points when there are plot are so damn dull you rush to finish the stupid thing. And this cycle continues Ad nauseam until eventually, you give up on this comic because it is creeps you out and somehow bores you to tears at the same time. Or, alternatively, you stay to look at doodles of 16-year olds turning into girls and centaur girls and furry girls or statues shaped like girls. Because it just turns you on so much, you sick monster.

As you can tell, I am really bitter from reading this comic. The anger has been engraved into my very soul itself. And the only way I can relieve this burden is to warn others. To know that others can see this comic for what it really is, and to save them from the horrors I endured. Unfortunately, feelings aren’t enough to convince anyone. You need evidence, right? Well then, let’s take a look at what exactly is wrong with this webcomic.

This blog isn't dead? Not yet, folks.

Well, well, well. How time flies. There are just so many anniversaries today. The new TMNT Turtles Forever movie just premiered, which is fun for TMNT fans of allage. Tomorrow is also the 150th anniversary of the creation of Darwin's great treatise The Origin of Species. let's see, what else am I missing? Ah yes...it's the seventh anniversary of THE WOTCH, one of the worst webcomics ever made that still exists on the internet. And boy howdy, do I wish it didn't.

The Wotch is possibly one of the most mentally scarring things I have ever endured in my lifetime. No, it's not as bad as Gonterman's work... No wait, it's actually worse in some respects. I mean, you expect Gonterman's work to be a piece of crap. But this comic doesn't even aspire to that. It's just a boring comic about guys turning into girls and girls turning into statues or trees or centaurs or furries or whatever your disturbed mind can conceive of.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Before I can review this comic, I'll have to give a summary for you, because even without all the filler this comic is LOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG! So, as a special gift to you, I'll attempt to fit over 7 years of comic into one huge ass essay telling you what is wrong with this crap. Why? Because I love you all so much. Or maybe it's because I hate you that much. I've kind of lost my mind reading this comic again.

Happy anniversary, Folks. Be sure to enjoy the pain I suffer for your amusement. I know I haven't.

-That Man